Why?

How can you be with one person but yet your heart is with another? And how can you be with this person even after knowing that his heart is not with you? Sigh.. love is so blind, so so blind that one is even willing to be in relationship - a not happy relationship just so as they do not have to go through the process of break-ups or being alone.

I really would not know how I will react if I were in this situation. But logically now, I would say that if is me, I would leave. Even if it means that the breakup will be shattering, or that I would be alone, I would rather be alone than being in a relationship and not being happy. I think, the most important thing in life is to be happy. Even if you have to be alone to be happy, so be it.

Sometimes the fear of heartaches, of loneliness, forces a person to dwell in a situation which they know is rather hopeless. But yet, they are in this loop where they can't see the way out. They sometimes go in circles and telling themselves that they will improve, they will change and they will be better. But yet, they are still in the same loop.

The loop never change. It is just a question of how you walk the journey in this loop. Perhaps, in the past, you have been walking around the loop, perhaps now is time to not just walk, but jump? run? crawl? But yet again, the loop is still the same.

It takes great courage to let go. Sometimes when you start to let go, you will perhaps see things in a better and clearer perspective.. and possibly a happier perspective.

MOS - What a waste

I just came back from Euphoria, MOS - Ministry of Sound. I felt like I just wasted my night. An event which was suppose to be something related to cars, turned out to be just a normal clubbing event. But well, it also get me thinking that, I am really too old for this shit. Sigh....

Music just does not go well with me and I really do not comprehend the kind of music they played. And yes, a lot of these youngsters are into this jump and hop kinda dance step. Is kinda cool actually but well, like I say, I am way off that era. But hey! I am not that old! Haha!

Anyway, I do not like this Euphoria place. Is too dark, music is too loud with gigantic speakers. Now there is this deafness in my ears. Making a conversation in these kinda of places is almost impossible. So this is not really suitable if you want to make friends or mingle around. Like I say, I felt like I just wasted my night and not to mention the money that hubby have to spend on the drink.

Confrontation

Confrontation? I don't really like them. But it is something that has to be done so as the other party would understand (you hope). It may not necessary ends well nor bad. It could create resentment but there is also a possibility of a better understanding.

I find myself asking, is there a need for the confrontation. Would it make a difference? Would it solve the problem? I really do not know...

For the both of them

It was said that first love is the most meaningful. I do not quite agree with this statement. To me, every love is different and it does not necessarily means first love is the best. A friend who have had problem with his partner felt that the past years that they were together has been meaningless. It is actually not so. Past relationships is an experience where mistakes are learnt, sweet memories are kept and not so fond memories pushes us to be strong.

I always believe that there is a reason for things to happen and a break up or a separation may not necessary be bad. I believe that there is reconciliation to separation and there is the possibility of a new beginning to an end. I believe that the decision we take determines our life journey.

I do understand how painful it must be for this friend of mine right now. The pain is still intense, so much so that it is difficult to think rationally. In the midst of the pain she can only see an end. There is actually a new beginning. I pray she will be able to see that and I pray that her prayers to what she wants and seek will come true. I pray for not only her happiness but also for his happiness.

Web of ??

How do you untangle a tangled web? Almost impossible? The irony is sometimes we get so tangled in a situation, we just do not realised it. Only when we are trapped, we start to look for answers. Most of the time, in the mess that we are in, we just want to give up. It is just too complicated.

So how do you untangle a tangled web? You just need to get to the root of it all. To the root of where it begins....

Ego & Friendship

Ego the biggest word that kills most things in life. It kills friendship, it forsake relationships. I have seen so many people with ego bigger than their heads. Yes, is normal to have an ego for to a certain extent, ego pushes you forward, to excel. However, ego that is not controlled is destructive.

Because of ego, painful words are uttered. Because of ego, one acts foolishly and stupidly. Because of ego, one forsake friendship. I have always believed that it is better to have few good friends than having lots of foolish egoistic friends. Thus, I do not trust people that easily. I also believe that friends are a passing phase. They come and go and only true friends will stay true to the heart.

Good riddance to egoistic foolish so call "friends". Thou shall just remain as a passing acquaintance.

Emptiness

Mom and Dad has been here for holidays for a week now. I have been enjoying mom's good home cook food. I can't help but feeling that I will be missing them terribly when they go back on Monday. Now that I am not staying with mom and dad, I appreciate them more than I used to. Is a blessing to have them around. So there is this sadness thinking that they will be going back in 2 days time.. sigh...