Emm...

What can I say, my 11-year old niece now has an account with facebook. In my situation where I live more than 300 km away from my one and only niece, fb is a consolation - since at least I have a share of knowing her grown up moments, her likes and dislikes, the games she plays and most important is keeping the contacts and communication intact. Of course it is not the same as being there physically during her growing up years - I miss that terribly and realised how much different it is now. But well.. at least something is better than nothing. I guess it will be before long she start blogging?

And when my nephew do start facebook - I will know that I am getting older..emm...

McD

I just ordered McD delivery for dinner at the office. The order took 45 minutes even though the nearest McD outlet is just across the road. The fries came in all soggy and my chicken all cold.

McD is not what it used to be. Those days, my friends used to work at McD part time while waiting for their exam results. The mentioning of working in McD is just glamourous as it was not easy to get in. The skills that you need to have to join them would include good communication skills and pleasant personality. Nowadays, the standard of staffs employment is no longer the same. The standard has definately dropped significantly.

McD used to have this fastest service where any serving that takes more than 60 seconds will be compensated by maybe free fries or something. Nowadays, you queue up and after taking the order, they asked you to stand aside while your orders are packed. While you are still waiting for your order, the cashier takes the next order and the guy standing behind you is now next to you. Your order gets mixed up sometimes as the cashier is faster than the packer and while all this happen, the queue went all messy.

Just the other day, we made a drive through order and the order was more than a hundred ringgit. My friend politely asked for a free chocolate sundae since we have placed a big order. The girl ignored our request and after countless time asking by my persistent friend, the girl responded that they only give if we have the McD car sticker. After all the packing, she finally gave us a free sundae, without smiling nor saying anything - she has this high mighty look as if she has done us a GREAT favour by giving us the ice-cream.

I believe if another Mc-something were to come up and are able to serve good fries and just provide the tiny weeny bit better service than McD, I will be the first to switch. But then again, perhaps is better to just stop eating McD?

Mental Ordeal

I especially love Friday nights. Is the start of a weekend - which means - no work! This Friday night feels liberating especially when the weight of responsibility I have been carrying the whole of the day were suddenly being lifted off.

Imagine being asked to do something that you dread doing - that you basically have fear of and you are not sure if you are able to execute it. So as soon as you heard the news, you suddenly feel like you are carrying a one tonne weight - not only does the heavy feeling weigh on you physically, it does emotionally as well. So you started to think and pray that something will turn up and that you may not have to do it and then at the same time, you tell yourself "heck" let us get this over and done with.

So you are faced with the task and as the time approaches where you have to face the challenge, the many mental notes that you put in your mind were cut off by a sudden unexpected question. You fumbled and just do not know what to say... at that moment. The answers somehow came much later - after you have blurted some senseless answer. Ah well... it finally just passes and that is the end of your mental ordeal.

Spooked

The weirdest thing just happened just now. For about a year plus, hubby's PDA went missing for no reason. We were staying at the same house then except that we were renting the back room. We searched everywhere for the PDA but it could not be found. This missing incident happened just after my camera also "mysteriously" went missing.

So we put it behind us as the search were futile. We then shifted to the front room of the house as our main tenant moved out. So we have been staying at this front room for a about a year now. Just about just now, hubby was lamenting about not having a place to put his magazine. I suggested him to put it above our pile of files which I arranged in standing order. These files were orderly arranged in a shelving cabinet. I suggested that he slot his magazine above the files and bent down to show him the place. Just then, I noticed a familiar thing. It was hubby's PDA! Is a shock! How can the PDA suddenly appear out of nowhere? I am spooked! We have basically emptied the shelf when we moved from the back room to the front room. We have been assessing these files and there is no way that the PDA could be just lying on top of it without us noticing it. Is the weirdest thing to happen.

So I was browsing through the PDA and in the notepad section, I saw 3 drawings which I am very sure was not drawn by me or hubby. First one looks like a ring or maybe a watch. The other 2 I cannot make it out. Is so odd... so so odd.... Now I am waiting for my missing camera to re-surface.. possible? Damn! I will be spooked!

Mooncake?

Today is lantern festival. Many will go back to their families to have dinner and to celebrate the occasion. I really do not know the significance of it. Tonight, is just dinner with hubby.

I am sitting here alone now in my room, writing my blog. At this same very moment, I am sure there are families having celebration, lighting up their gardens with lantern. Some families celebrate by having bbq with friends and families. Kids running around and carrying lantern while singing the lantern song (I wonder if the kids nowadays still do that?) Somewhere out there, there will be couples sitting on bench watching the moon together or there may be this guy choosing to pop the question on this auspicious night.

While all this is going on, I am sure there are also instances where the singles will be home alone and wishing that they have someone, there will be the married guy who instead wished that he is single and out there partying, there will be couples going through break-ups and there will be this guy cheating on her girl or this girl two-timing her guy. Many people out there, doing many different things, heck there may be someone out there just like me, sitting in the comfort of the room, writing about other people!

What's my point really? Well.. life goes on and while you think sometimes that you have it bad, others have had worse and while life is good for you... be happy that there are others who has it as well.

Blissful communion

September - a month of celebration. First I witnessed the communion of two good friends which also falls on the same day as my neice's birthday. It is indeed an honour and privilege to be asked as a witness especially so when it is the most important day of their life. While in the registration room, it brought back memories of my own registration 5 years ago. I have been there after that as a photographer but this time round hubby and me were seated down in the witness seat. As I was signing the certificate, my hand actually trembled.

5 years ago, the registration process was slightly different. I remembered being called to repeat some words but this time round, the registration process takes less than 5 minutes with the person reading the oath and the couple agreeing to it simply by saying "I do".

My registration will always be a funny event - imagine being asked whether we would take each other to be the lawful wedded couple in - BAHASA MALAYSIA! Imagine saying "I do" with "ya!" only to be corrected that we should instead say "Setuju". Well, we actually giggled so hard throughout the ceremony as the lady reading the oath read it so fast that we do not know what she was babbling about - and especially when it sounded as if we are undergoing some military camp. This time round, I make it a point to tell my friends to specifically ask for the right language before entering.

Just yesterday, we got home real late after a wedding event in Nilai. We woke up as early as 5.30am. We were hired as the official photographer. It is a beautiful wedding, beautiful couple. I find it most fullfilling as when I captured these moments, it occurs to me that it is actually the most beautiful moment in not only the couple's life but the entire family itself. So my job is not just to be a photographer but actually to be the eyes of many special moments to keep.

To my friends - for the blissful communion - wishing you many many happy moments, wishing you the patience to see through each other's fault and the ability to accept each other the way that you are.

Seniors

I was having my dinner the other day and I noticed this old man at the restaurant, cleaning tables and picking up the dishes. I lost my appetite there and then. The thing about me is that I got a soft spot for old people and especially the really old ones who walks with a bent and with heavy wrinkles on their faces. I felt that old people should not be put into this situation where they need to do heavy chores. My heart sank each time I witnessed such scene.

I am being reminded of the scene in Section 17 where one particular old lady mends a stall on her own. The sight of her hunched body and her state of difficulty is an image I remembered each time I go there. So I am never really keen on going there to eat, simply because it saddens me greatly to be seeing her struggling in keeping her stall in order. Unlike other stalls who have frequent orders, business is usually slow on her side.

Well, that is just me - a weakness I would say for I would always end up buying items that I do not need, or giving away money to old beggers. There is only this little that I could do - I wish I could have done more.

Choices in life

It is as if I am watching a movie. Except that this time, it is not a movie. It is real life experience. Just when you thought that you have had your life finally paved out, a sudden turn of events hits you right in your face and you just have to re-shape your course of life again.

You do not want to be caught in a situation where you have to make a choice and especially when the choices laid in front of you seems to be a losing end either way. What would you do? I was asked this question - "what would you have done if you were me". Well, I can only imagine being in the situation but I cannot feel for sure how the situation is like - since physically and emotional - I am not in the situation. So it is not right to tell what I would do for sure.

I can only say that there is no right choice nor wrong choice. It is just a choice that one has to make - you gotta do what you gotta do. In a situation like this, you have to think of yourself sometimes, what makes you happy. To me, the most important thing in life is to be happy. And happiness is the choice of your mind. It may be most difficult to comprehend when you are in a state of depression - that you can actually determine your own happiness just by changing the way you think.

It is easier said than done. I, for sure knows that it takes a great strength to pick yourself up after a great fall, but I do know that if you can raise above all life's adversity, you will be the one who can one day proudly says that you have live life to the fullest!

Pain

When you are in pain, it is only normal for you to want to inflict pain on the person who has pained you. So I can totally understand her actions. Pain causes her to react in a manner that is so irrational, which is probably so not her. But her heart feels like a million razor cutting, slicing and stabbing at her. So she lost her rational sense.

I am a woman and I understand her pain. I cannot feel her pain, I can only imagine it from past experiences. It is the kind of feeling that none of us would want to go through. For something dear to her is no longer there and to a certain extent, has turned against her. Of course there is no such thing as one person's fault - in fact, sometimes is nobody's fault - it is sometimes just a situation that changes in time and soon enough, you realised too late that the feeling and emotion is gone.

When I see happy couple, it makes me happy. I think that if one is able to find their mate it is indeed happiness and even more so if the mate turns out to be the soul mate. To me there is no perfection - where human is concern, there is no such thing as perfection. But perfection is something that we perceived to be. If we choose to see only the virtue of a person, then there is perfection.

My tribute to Michael Jackson

MJ has passed on for a quite a while now. I have refused to watch his memorial video. Yes, I have been in denial and I gathered that if I did not watch then I would not feel his lost. Finding some time, I watched it on You Tube and it got me in tears. It hit me that the world has lost a great figure, a legend.

I have been a fan of MJ since his Beat It days. What captures my heart about him was his talent especially his dance moves. I remembered during the 80's, me and my schoolmates were so into him that we learned his moves and danced in school concerts. Of course we are only able to do a somewhat simple moves.

I still remembered when Michael acted in the movie Smooth Criminal. All the while, we only get to see him dance and sing but in that movie, it was the first time we saw him talked and laughed. He got the most charming and as what Brooke Shield says during the memorial tribute - the purest laughter.

I can't help but to feel that the world has lost a great person. I know that I will remember him as a legend for a long time. RIP Michael.

Phuket

Phuket - the land of boozes and boobs.. oppss.... truly really - this is a paradise for men. I just got back from a 5 days trip from Phuket. It is indeed a beautiful place, especially the beaches.

We stayed in Patong - a place where party begins from 10pm. The whole street of Soi Bangla is closed for only street walkers. Pubs, discos occupies the whole street with girls, ladyman parading and walking around looking for customers. Agents pesters you to see shows - lots of weird, exotic and I would say erotic shows.

A few pointers for those who have not been to Phuket. It is a must to bargain for everything, from trips to prices at pubs to shopping. You can actually bargain for 50% or more for the price quoted, especially if you have the numbers. If you like night life, parties and music, Patong is the place to be. Hang out as late as you can and unless you want to catch sunrise, it is pointless to get up early for the shops only operates from 11am (Thailand time) - which is 12pm Malaysian time.

If you like a more quiet place, Kata would be a nice place. The hotels and ambience is more upscale. Do not bother to stay in Phuket town, there is nothing much there except for Robinson but then again, is nothing glamorous. But if you stay in Patong and you would like to visit town, you can consider renting a car. A sedan car would cost about THB1,000. As for us, we rented a small jeep which costs us only THB500 (after negotiation). If you only wish to move around in Patong, you can walk or you can opt to rent motorbike which only costs THB200 per day. If there are a few of you, do nego on the price.

From Patong, we actually took the bike to Kamala and Surin beach. It is really a beautiful journey especially when you drive past the blue sea, but if you are not a good bike rider, is best to avoid the road as it can be quite hilly and steep but otherwise it is really fun.

We make it a point to cover as many places as possible - which we did. We took a jeep and travelled from Patong to Phuket town after which we drove to Chalong where the Big Buddha was. It was really really high on the hill. We decided not to attempt driving up and instead visited Wat Chalong - a very beautiful temple. From Chalong, we head on to Promtep Cape - I would say this is a must see place. There is a view point to see sunset and I would say that the view is simply fantastic.

From Promtep Cape we continued driving where we reached Karon beach and Kata beach after which we reached back to Patong. So the journey is all connected. As you drive past Karon, you can see elephants by the side. I think is simply a beautiful sight.

A few must see things in Phuket would be Simon Cabaret and Fantasea (we did not manage to catch this though). You should also make it a point to visit the island - Phi Phi island. I am not much of a swimmer nor a diver and definately not a fan of speedboat. I was getting all seasick but I still think that it is a must to go to these island when you are in Phuket. The sea is just simply beautiful.

Well, I would say that it has been really a good holiday and a totally different break - it is as if you are in a land where party never stops. Most ideal for singles.

View photos at http://evershots.multiply.com

CNBC - Pleasant surprise!

I just got back from Singapore last night. I would say that it has been a good trip, other than the fact that I do not like to take plane. It is not so much about fear of flying, but the uncomfortable seat, the tight space and the sometimes air sick that I encounter. Well, comfort would be there if you were to take the business class but of course, that would cost a bomb.

Anyway, back to Singapore, I was there with my bosses to receive the CNBC award. The most pleasant thing is that we won 5 star which makes us the Best Residential development in Malaysia 2009. What is even more pleasant is when during the night dinner, we were announced as not only the best in Malaysis but we were the best in Asia Pacific. By winning this title, we actually compete with the world's best in the international level. Wow! and double Wow!

The satisfying thing is actually the fact that the award submission was an effort put in by both my GM and myself. And because we put in so much effort, the winning makes it all worthwhile and satisfying. We did not expect to win but we pray and hope that we won. When we were informed via email that we are one of the winners, we were already happy. On the award presentation day when we were announced as a 5 star winner, we were just pleasantly surprise but when the announcement came in that were were also the winner in Asia Pacific, we were just stunned!

We would know by November 13 if were are the winner of the world's best. Well, we still do not expect it but we just pray and hope that we do!

Letting go

What would you do if you found out that the man you have been with for the past 8 years does not love you anymore? That the differences between both of you are no longer tolerable. And to make it worst, you found out that he is in love with another. So you force your way through and insisted that he does not leave you. So the guy being a responsible person, still stick around but each time he is there, you know that his heart is no longer there. What would you do?

The most logical thing to do is to go separate ways. But of course, it is easier for me to say as I am just seeing this in a third party perspective. My friend is in this situation of which her emotions takes over and she just find it hard to let go. She knows that the most logical thing to do is to let go but her emotional attachment makes it so much harder. At the same time, being dependent for so long, it makes it even harder for her to stand on her own now.

I can only say that it would be best for both of them to go their separate ways for there is truly no love and tolerance anymore from one side. And a one-sided love cannot work. I believe that if she were to let go, she would find peace. Of course the pain, fear would be there but given time, it will heal. So to this friend of mine, I pray that you find courage and that you will find the wisdom to do what you should do.

Why?

How can you be with one person but yet your heart is with another? And how can you be with this person even after knowing that his heart is not with you? Sigh.. love is so blind, so so blind that one is even willing to be in relationship - a not happy relationship just so as they do not have to go through the process of break-ups or being alone.

I really would not know how I will react if I were in this situation. But logically now, I would say that if is me, I would leave. Even if it means that the breakup will be shattering, or that I would be alone, I would rather be alone than being in a relationship and not being happy. I think, the most important thing in life is to be happy. Even if you have to be alone to be happy, so be it.

Sometimes the fear of heartaches, of loneliness, forces a person to dwell in a situation which they know is rather hopeless. But yet, they are in this loop where they can't see the way out. They sometimes go in circles and telling themselves that they will improve, they will change and they will be better. But yet, they are still in the same loop.

The loop never change. It is just a question of how you walk the journey in this loop. Perhaps, in the past, you have been walking around the loop, perhaps now is time to not just walk, but jump? run? crawl? But yet again, the loop is still the same.

It takes great courage to let go. Sometimes when you start to let go, you will perhaps see things in a better and clearer perspective.. and possibly a happier perspective.

MOS - What a waste

I just came back from Euphoria, MOS - Ministry of Sound. I felt like I just wasted my night. An event which was suppose to be something related to cars, turned out to be just a normal clubbing event. But well, it also get me thinking that, I am really too old for this shit. Sigh....

Music just does not go well with me and I really do not comprehend the kind of music they played. And yes, a lot of these youngsters are into this jump and hop kinda dance step. Is kinda cool actually but well, like I say, I am way off that era. But hey! I am not that old! Haha!

Anyway, I do not like this Euphoria place. Is too dark, music is too loud with gigantic speakers. Now there is this deafness in my ears. Making a conversation in these kinda of places is almost impossible. So this is not really suitable if you want to make friends or mingle around. Like I say, I felt like I just wasted my night and not to mention the money that hubby have to spend on the drink.

Confrontation

Confrontation? I don't really like them. But it is something that has to be done so as the other party would understand (you hope). It may not necessary ends well nor bad. It could create resentment but there is also a possibility of a better understanding.

I find myself asking, is there a need for the confrontation. Would it make a difference? Would it solve the problem? I really do not know...

For the both of them

It was said that first love is the most meaningful. I do not quite agree with this statement. To me, every love is different and it does not necessarily means first love is the best. A friend who have had problem with his partner felt that the past years that they were together has been meaningless. It is actually not so. Past relationships is an experience where mistakes are learnt, sweet memories are kept and not so fond memories pushes us to be strong.

I always believe that there is a reason for things to happen and a break up or a separation may not necessary be bad. I believe that there is reconciliation to separation and there is the possibility of a new beginning to an end. I believe that the decision we take determines our life journey.

I do understand how painful it must be for this friend of mine right now. The pain is still intense, so much so that it is difficult to think rationally. In the midst of the pain she can only see an end. There is actually a new beginning. I pray she will be able to see that and I pray that her prayers to what she wants and seek will come true. I pray for not only her happiness but also for his happiness.

Web of ??

How do you untangle a tangled web? Almost impossible? The irony is sometimes we get so tangled in a situation, we just do not realised it. Only when we are trapped, we start to look for answers. Most of the time, in the mess that we are in, we just want to give up. It is just too complicated.

So how do you untangle a tangled web? You just need to get to the root of it all. To the root of where it begins....

Ego & Friendship

Ego the biggest word that kills most things in life. It kills friendship, it forsake relationships. I have seen so many people with ego bigger than their heads. Yes, is normal to have an ego for to a certain extent, ego pushes you forward, to excel. However, ego that is not controlled is destructive.

Because of ego, painful words are uttered. Because of ego, one acts foolishly and stupidly. Because of ego, one forsake friendship. I have always believed that it is better to have few good friends than having lots of foolish egoistic friends. Thus, I do not trust people that easily. I also believe that friends are a passing phase. They come and go and only true friends will stay true to the heart.

Good riddance to egoistic foolish so call "friends". Thou shall just remain as a passing acquaintance.

Emptiness

Mom and Dad has been here for holidays for a week now. I have been enjoying mom's good home cook food. I can't help but feeling that I will be missing them terribly when they go back on Monday. Now that I am not staying with mom and dad, I appreciate them more than I used to. Is a blessing to have them around. So there is this sadness thinking that they will be going back in 2 days time.. sigh...