Dilemma

What you do if you are in this situation? You have been with a girl for more than 10 years. You have trust and sense of responsibility towards her. But somehow, you lost that magic. It is not as magical as before. Passion is somehow lost. But the love you have for her is unconditional.

Then came along a girl in your life. She is all you wanted. The magic and the passion. The compability is just perfect. But she is someone new and you are not sure if it will last. Trust is yet to be established. Security is uncertain.

In this case, who would you choose? Well, that is the dilemma one of my friends are into. So what would you do if is you?

Keeping diaries

I started keeping diaries ever since I was 19. Back then, blogs were never heard of and there is hardly the luxury of owning a computer. Every thoughts, feelings were penned down in words, in a book or a dairy. Now, with blogs and the accessibility of computers, all thoughts are posted and viewed by the public. Back then, our diaries were very much a secret.

How things change! I am in my thirties and here I am feeling the significant changes in today and yesteryears. I find writing in blogs to be fast and easy. Thoughts flow easily and mistakes are wiped off easily. We can change our mind about what to write and what not to write. However, this makes writing to be not so true and we are afraid that it may be read by the wrong person. Few times when I have the urge to write, I find that I do not have the luxury of a computer. Hence, I understand why sometimes the old conventional way of writing diary is still the best.

They bitched and they talked

Sigh.. this is happening everywhere. Office politics. A group of girls come together and talk about everything that is not related to them. They talked about why, what, how, should have, would have and what not... and all these are not about them but about the people they supposedly called friends.

The irony is, there is so much to do at work, so many datelines to meet and yet other people businesses seems to be their priority. These are not young girls, some are mothers and wife and approaching 30's and yet they behave like a immature girl. Sad to say, this is happening everywhere.

How should one face it? Ignore them? Confront them? To hell with them?

All I can say is - "Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you". For every action there is a reaction and a repercussion. :)

Missing Misha

Misha went missing two days ago. Attempts to locate her failed. Is odd. One would have thought that losing a dog means nothing, after all, it is just a dog. It is not even my dog. But I have grown fond of Misha the past 5 months that I have been staying here. Misha hardly barks but she would wag her tail vigorously when seeing familiar faces. Few times when my landlord is out and Misha is left alone, she would come "knocking" on my door. She would quietly sit next to me while I was busy working on my computer.

Now that Misha is gone, I can't help feeling sad. Hubby and me went round the neighbourhood hoping to find her. She is no where to be found. I pray that she can find her way back home or whoever is keeping her, would take good care of her. Is the first dog I ever loved!

My heart goes out to her

I am grieving. Grieving to have read the news about Nurin. How could someone do this to such a sweet young girl? I do not know her but I feel the pain and the loss of her parents. Most of all, I felt the pain knowing that she has suffered before dying. My rage goes out to the beast who have done this. My fear goes out to all the children. Is no longer safe out there. Who are we to blame? The parents for allowing her to walk out alone? The police for the lack of security? The beast with a demon within?

I prayed for the safety of all the children, my niece, my nephews. I prayed that Nurin finds her peace and I prayed that the parents finds their consolation.

Been a long time

Been so busy and just can't find time to write. Shoulder aching, a sign of using too much computer.. for work of course, not so much as surfing..

Come to think of it, computer is such a common thing.. or rather, it is more than a common thing, it has become a thing of great attachment. The first thing I do when I reached my office desk is to switch on my computer, click my email messages, go to star online to check out the news and then start my work.

When I reached back home, I will do the same, switched on my computer, checked mails, surf a bit, watch video, switch on my messenger and chat with my niece and with my friends.

So recently, I shifted to my "weekdays home" where I do not have internet access during weekdays. It was odd at first, something missing, not having a computer. But then, it is really a good thing. I find myself sleeping earlier and getting more rest. Then I realised how health hazard computer can be, other than blurring your vision.

So, I gathered that I can sort of live without computer but.. not sure if I can live without my handphone.... :)

A message

Mic's mom passed away on the 1st day of chinese new year. It was shocked to me. Even though I fondly call her as Aunty, she was like a mom to me. She regarded me as her god daughter whom she proudly introduces to her relatives.

Just two days before she died, hubby mentioned to visit her during the chinese new year. I guess it was too late. I was told that she died at the point where all of her children and grandchildren was with her. Somehow, it is as though she chooses the moment to leave.

Something odd happen recently, well, at least I never thought it was odd until I relate it to Mic. It is exactly the seventh day after. I had a dream that night. I dream of Aunty sitting looking at a bowl of Hokkien mee. Next to her was Mic's father eating hokkien mee. The place was like a eatery place, packed with people. I did not find it odd at first as I tend to dream very easily.

The dream kept locked in my mind. The vision so clear. I finally sms Mic to enquire if her mom likes Hokkien mee. Mic called me immediately as she found my question odd. I related my dream to Mic and it was then that Mic said that they did served Hokkien mee to Aunty on the 1st day of the funeral. Infact, the whole family also ate Hokkien mee on that day. Emm.... I am speechless...

Is so fast

I am in Cheras, sitting in Old Town Kopitiam. Lots of people here, from young to old. I guess is the lifestyle now, sitting at a cafe, hanging out with friends and a few of them are like me, with their laptops either surfing or typing.

It is interesting when I looked back on how things were like before. I remember in my teens, when I met this boyfriend of mine from Johor, we had to correspond through snail mail. At that time then, pen pal was an in-thing. Now.. everything is so fast and easy. With just a click, you can chat with anyone anywhere in the world. And now you can even see each other face to face through computers. How things have moved and advanced. I wonder how things will be like 5 years, 10 years, 15 years from now...

So here I am sitting at a cafe, typing my thoughts in my laptop when years ago, I would have to write it down in my diaries or in a piece of paper. Now my thoughts can be posted to the world to read when years ago, it would just have been a private thoughts tucked in my secret compartment.

With the changes, when everything moves so fast... we have to be fast too...

What a service

Was out having dinner with some friends just now. So we decided to eat in this chinese restaurant by the roadside. They served rice with dishes and all. All of us decided to order our individual food.

We were greeted by a rude uncle who took our orders. He seems to be unhappy that we are not ordering the main dishes. After placing our order, we waited for the food. 5 minutes, 10 minutes.... 20 minutes... 30 minutes went by... As we sat there we realise that the other tables who ordered crab, fishes were first being served despite us being there first. It dawned on us that our orders were probably being put as the last priority.

So we decided to leave the place and since we have ordered some drinks, we asked one of the workers for the bill on our drinks. We told him that we have waited for more than 30 minutes and that we do not want to wait anymore. The worker chided and said that we should not talk this way. He walked away and said he will check our food. We placed some money on the table for the drinks and all 8 of us walked out from the place.

The workers shouted to the chef saying that we have left the place. We walked away not looking back and headed to another restaurant to eat. The food was served in less than 15 minutes despite the place being packed.

What would you do if you are in this situation? Wait? One of the things I learnt is to be patient. But as much as being patient, we should not let others take advantage of us. I believe in standing for my rights. In this case, we are not just a customer but we are human and should be treated right.

It is disappointing looking at how people can be so double standard. I especially dislike shop owners who treat customers rudely especially when they have business. I believe that business will not last if it is done that way.

Anyway, the restaurant I am talking about is the one Restoran 88 which is in OUG right in front of Shell Petrol Station....

I am blessed

New Year Eve was celebrated year after year with fireworks, street parties, wine and dine. This New Year Eve, was a celebration with friends for me. We had a simple steamboat followed by a walk at the Curve. Yes I mentioned a walk as getting a place to sit in the cafes was just impossible.

Looking back I cannot recall what I did for new year last year. Emm.. I should put on record of the memories of new year I have spent.

There is this one year, me and hubby decided to go to KLCC to watch the fireworks display. So we decided that it would be better to take the LRT to avoid the jam. Unfortunately, we have had the lifetime of experience being stucked in a human jam at the station. It was a horrible experience of pure human sandwich jam. Everyone was practically plastered to each other. It is really bad.

There was also a year which I spent my new year eve with some friend in KL city. It was also jam packed with people. We manage to push our way through and got a place in Swenson in KL. later after that we watch fireworks and went to a Danish pub. A simple one I would say.

Then there was one new year when I was in Penang. It was spent in a pub and a few friends have too much to drink. My boyfriend then, went around on the streets wishing everyone Happy New Year. Some responded, some looked at him in shocked. That was a funny year.

As years passed, celebration seems to be different. The first time I saw fireworks was when I was 21 or so. It was my first fireworks display. I was in awed. I thanked God for giving me the eyes to witness such magnificent sight. Last night as I was at the fireworks, it was different. The fireworks is the same but the feeling was different. I was less awed. I silently remind myself to be appreciative of this experience still.

Well, years passes so fast. I think is especially faster when we get older.. New Year only reminds me to be appreciative of what we have and of the people we love. To live to the fullest and do what we want in life. That we should not let anyone or anything stops us from realising our dream.

As I lie on my bed last night after coming back from the celebration, I know I am so blessed to have a comfortable bed to come home to...

What a joke

Night at the museum.. is a funny story and unique with everything in the musuem coming to life. The show gets better as they have good casting. Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and the all talented Robin Williams makes the movie a top notch. Emm... will buy the DVD for keeps....

Anyway.. after the movie I was in need to go to toilet. So hubby and me decided to go to the toilet in DiKayu as we are heading there for a drink. It was almost 2am. Guess what.. as it turns out there is no toilet in DiKayu. The toilet is located in Tesco itself but the mall is already all closed.

Upon asking the workers, apparently the nearest toilet available is in Petronas which is on the opposite side, further away. Which makes me wonder... how does the workers relief themselves? By the road side? Near the Curve?? It is near to drive to Petronas but it is definately far to walk. What a joke!

I wonder

It was in the headlines today.. an accident victim was awarded 9 million today for the injury that happened to her when she was just few years old. The accident leaves her paralysed waist down.

Now I am just wondering... how would they ever get the money? How would the wrong party ever manage to pay? I would think that the wrong party would rather declare themselves a bankrupt and escape from paying. What can the court do? or What can the victim do?? I wonder....

Ahh!!! Holidays!!

Ahh! Is Friday and just two days away will be new year's day. Time passes so fast. Just a blink of an eye and here I am older and wiser (I hope). I am looking forward to this few days as it is a long holiday. I misses my sleep tremendously. Misses the time when I do not have to wake up so early. I know that when work starts next week, i will even have to wake up earlier than normal. That is the time that school reopens and everyone will be back to work.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I need to do some shopping. Sunday will be a celebration with friends.. perhaps for a sumptuous buffet steamboat. Monday will be a bliss as I get to sleep.. let's call it sleeping day. Tuesday.. is still a rest day.. perhaps I will drop by to check on my colleagues in the show houses.... Wednesday is back to work!

You just wanna box them

Being with this new company of mine, I have come to the conclusion that almost 90% of the girls do not smile. I suspect they hide a chunk of gold in their mouth.

1st incident - on my second day at work, I walked into the sales office. I smiled at the first girl I met. I got in return a look that makes me wonder if I am invinsible.

2nd incident - I went to the show house and saw another girl. She was talking to a client. After the client left, she gave me a half smile look. I smiled at her, extent my hand to her and told her I am a new staff. I got in return a look that makes me feel like an alien. She did not take my handshake.

3rd incident - I had to replace my staff at the sales gallery. Sitting in the other desk, was a lady. She has an "i am almighty" look. Forget about talking to her despite we sitting side by side doing our work as flashing a smile seems harder than lifting a one tonne of load.

Geez.. there is a whole lot of other incidences.. I come to the conclusion that they do really have a load of gold in their mouth or either they are toothless. So I walk about in the office, deciding to mind my own business.

What a bliss

Is the holiday season. Is such a bliss traveling to work. Traffic is so smooth on a usual busy morning. It takes me 15 minutes when it would have taken me one hour on a normal working day. I am truly enjoying this smooth traffic but I know that come next week, it will be hell again. So for the next two days.. I can sleep an extra 30 minutes...zzzzz...

Holiday mood

Is year end.. is holiday mood.. is the month where most people get their bonus and is the time where most of them plan to switch jobs..

I noticed that the traffic is better the past few days. I think is because of the the fact many are on holidays now. So it makes driving to work much easier. I am looking forward to this weekend as my favourite niece and nephew will be coming to visit me!

It is fate

I haven't been able to write the past few weeks due to my work schedule. Tonight I am free as tomorrow is a holiday for me! So this is me writing again!

I have just heard a ghost story today. I was typing a jist of it but I got scared and decided not to continue... Anyway, let us talk about something else.

Well, I met Uncle D today. His wife passed away just about last month due to cancer. I can see that his wife's death greatly disturbs him. He talked about fate and life's little warning before the passing away of his wife. It seems as he said, there were 2 mediums who predicted the death of his wife even before she got ill. Infact, one of the medium put a marking on a book. The marking as it turns out was the day when the wife passes away.

Apparently, Uncle D's wife had an accident about 2 years ago. However, she did not choose to go for treatment at the hospital but chooses to go to a chinese "sinseh" instead. The injury did not heal and eventually Uncle D forces her to take an X-ray. It turns out that the bone is not implaced and can be detached anytime. An operation was conducted in one of the small local hospitals one year later after the accident.

Looking back, Uncle D realises that the accident is life's warning of cancer at the point of time. If Uncle D's wife would have gone to a hospital for her treatment, is a possibility that the early sign of cancer can be detected. That was 2 years ago. If Uncle D's wife would have gone to a better hospital, her life would have been saved.

There is so many what if's... but at the end of the day... i guess it is fate...

Appreciate what we have

Today is my second day at my new job. It is a Saturday. My official working days are Mondays to Fridays. In my scope of work, I am required to work on weekends from time to time. Tomorrow I will be working as well. In normal situations, I would probably still be out at this time (is 2.19am on Sunday morning). But knowing that tomorrow will be a full day, I decided to come back.

As I was sitting in a restaurant with some friends, I ponder about the fact that I will be working on a Sunday after a one year break. I sigh. Then I look at the waitress standing at the entrance and by the tables serving customers. Then I realize how lucky I am. Here am I complaining about working at reasonable hours when these young waitresses need to work at such odd hours. Here I am sitting down enjoying my drink when these young waitresses stood waiting for customers. Believe me, I know how it is like to be standing the whole day and not sitting. And to think that what they are earning is just a tiny weeny bit of what I am earning.

So I tell myself that I am blessed indeed and I should be happy.

When we complain about our own life we only need to take a look of the people around us to realize how much worse many people are.

We complain of the car we drive, take a look at the walking pedestrians, the motor bikers who hide under the highway bridge to shelter from the rain.

We complain of our small apartment, take a look at the old man sleeping on the bench and on the sidewalks.

We complain of our job in our small little office, preparing proposal and presentations, take a look at the cleaners by the roadside, the rubbish collector, the toilet cleaners, the construction workers under the hot sun.

We complain of the clothes we wear, take a look at the poor who collects used clothes.

We complain of the food we eat, take a look at the beggers who ransack rubbish bins for bits of bread.

The list is endless cos human have too much of a complain. How about looking into appreciating what we have so that we can live life to the fullest.

Girls girls girls

A few things that I dislike:-

Girls who take advantage. Example - a girl ordered expensive food when a guy (who is not her boyfriend) offered to pay for the food.

Girls who are dependent - a girl goes shopping and saw a dress that she liked. After trying on the dress she put it back on the rack and says " I will ask my boyfriend to buy it for me".

Girls who gossips - they pretend to be concerned of a friend when all they want is to find out some juicy stuff. Questions like " Is Danny aftering Cindy? Cindy came back late last night. Did she go out with Danny?" Then she goes on to tell... "The other day Danny gave a dozen of roses to Cindy but Cindy just could not be bothered with the gift. She just put it at the rack near the shoes... bla bla bla..

Girls who are inconsiderate - a group of friends goes out for dinner and later hang out in a cafe. Half way through the dinner, one of the girl wants to go back home and asked a guy friend to fetch her back. The guy has to make a long trip to fetch her back then drove back again to join the friends at the cafe. The thing is - if you cannot stay long then make sure you drive yourself so that you do not disturb others.

Noticed that I talked mostly about girls?? Well, I am a girl myself and I find that girls can be quite a pain in the a**!

Is this normal

There is this friend whom I met a couple of months ago. We met through a mutual friend and we sort of like started to hang out ever since our first dinner appointment. (I say dinner appointment and not date cos she is a girl and I am a girl). Somehow, both of us would go for dinners and outings on several occasions. We would sometimes go out together with my husband and a bunch of other friends.

Then I noticed lately that the outings and the calls she made to me has been quite frequent. I do not know why but I totally freaked out. I mean, in all my experiences with my other girl friends, I have never had one who calls me everyday and asked to be met almost everyday. Sometimes, she would call me like 3 times a day. I guess it would have been normal if this situation is where a guy goes after a girl.

Well, I questioned myself.. is it normal for a friend to be calling another almost everyday and asked to be met? What is wrong with me? Why do i freaked out? I told myself that it could be totally a normal thing.. that perhaps she is alone and have not much friends...

Well.. I tried not to feel this way but I found myself avoiding going out with her. I guess, I feel choked. Each time I find having to explain to her why I cannot go out and what I have to do for the day. Is like having to report to her what I am up to each day.. Argghhh!!! is killing me....

Sigh.. today is Sunday and I just received a sms from her for a meet up again.. Last night, she asked for mahjong session...

Call me boring but I sometimes think that I have passed my age on doing stuff like that.. I mean I should be using my time to earn money, do my work, clean the house etc.. afterall.. I am a married woman planning to have children...