I just want to run away...

Sigh... if you believe in fengshui, I would say this month is a quarrelsome month. I am just so tired. Just this one month alone, I have met from rude people to arrogant, self-centred, bossy, sarcastic, immature, destructive .... the list is endless. As I write this, a few faces comes to mind.. 1,2,3,4,5,6,....

The world is really not that big. Life is short. Why the need for such attitude. Well i believe in repercussion, that you will reap what you have sown. I pray that these people will see it soon enough so that they make amends. People like this, makes you lose hope in the society sometimes, people like this can demoralised you and shun your beliefs that there are good people out there.

I have been feeling down the past 2 days. I have encountered the most unpleasant personality of a particular person. I make a resolute decision to let go and forgive. I woke up this morning and unhappiness sets in. It seems that the episode still plays in my mind and I am trying to forget. Ya, moments like this comes and goes.. one moment you are ok and you decide to move on, let go and forgive, other days, you remembered and it gets you down, it makes me angry and sad. So I only have to remind myself there are still good people out there... there are still good people out there...

A lesson learnt

He is born in a rich family. Anything that he wants, he gets. He is always instructing and never gets instructed. He does not have to work hard for money, he never has to work for his Ferrari and yet he condemns those who drives a Proton with their hard earned money. He is a boss without having to work his way up and yet he belittled those who have. Just because he is rich, he automatically becomes smart, wiser and obviously powerful. With money, he threatens, he provokes, he criticized, he condemns those who have not.

What do I feel when I meet someone like him? I feel sorry for him. For he will walk alone and he will never have the liberty to know who his true friends are. I pitied him for he will not understand love, humanity, laughter and joy. I pitied him for despite having seen the world with his richness, he has such small heart. I pitied him for his piercing words on others will one day find its way back to stab him.

What have I learnt when I meet someone like him? I learnt that there are people like that everywhere and that I have to learn to face them. I have learnt that even though I am not born with a silver spoon, but yet I am so lucky is so many ways for I have been born in a family that is rich with love and humanity. I have learnt that everywhere I go, I am surrounded with people who loves and cares for me and most important thing, I have learnt that I never have to walk alone.

This caption from my heart, is dedicated to my husband and my true friends (you know who you are).

The world is full ??

What is happening to the people around? They are so arrogant, rude, self centred and close minded. I really feel sorry for them, for the way that they are. Yes, they are rich, but being rich does not give you the right to be rude and arrogant. I have been meeting this people for the past few days and here is what I want to say to them:

Mr Y - Do not think that money can buy you power and that it can buy you respect. You do not have a single respect from me. Despite your so-called richness, I am surprised that you continue to demand for free lunch and free things. Are you not ashamed? Stop flaunting your so-called generosity - you have nothing but greed and arrogance. You knowing "this person" or "that person" has got nothing to do with me and I am not bothered by it. Do not think that with money you can make people listen to you or that people will respect you. I pray that you will not fall one day, for if you do, is going to be a hard one.

Ms L - You have such narrow mind and immature heart. You talked about things that are not of relevance to you and you have such red eyes over things that other people has. Grow up! Goodness! You are a mother of 2 and yet you act worst than a child of 5! I have no words to describe your behaviour but do hope that one day you will wake up and realised what a fool you have been.

Ms Bitchy - I only have a few moments with you and seeing you, I am just ashamed that someone like you exist in our world. You stormed in the office, speaking rudely to us. You are so impatient and plain rude talking to us. You think that you have a rich husband, that entitles you to treat everyone else as if they are not worth a dime? I can see within the fairness of your face, that you have a tortured soul. Your eyes are full of hatred and anger and I feel very sorry for you. I know that one day, you will realised what a bitch you have been but I guess it will be too late then.

Sigh... now I feel so much better!

Yes, just quit

I do not know why but some people uses the short cut way to end things. Face with small problem and they just chooses to quit. This tells much about the life that they lived in. Things can be resolved easily if only they would let go of their ego. Sometimes, we know we are wrong but we are too egoistic to admit it. Where does that get us to? We keep grudges and revenge in our hearts and we have only ourselves to hurt.

Certain point in our life, we will realised that things are not what we use to think it is. As for me, I think things are easier if you let go. And the most important thing is to let go your ego. Some people mistaken ego for self respect. So they chooses to be stubborn. This is what I

Geez.. what am I talking about? I am talking about the many egoistic people I have met, about people who chooses to quit rather than to persevere. I am talking about people who thinks the are right, they are right and that they are still right. I am talking about obstinate people who stick to their guns even though they know they are carrying the wrong one. I am talking about this people who makes the world a ugly place to live in.

Drained...

Is been really busy the past few weeks. Most of the nights, I come back late feeling tired and drained. Yes I do enjoy what I do but sometimes I just get tired.

Next week we have a night launch and because we organised this without the help of a event organiser, we had to spend considerable amount of time to plan. Every angle must be thought of so that we do not miss anything important. Basically, we are the event organiser. It is really not difficult when you have set your planning right. Infact, I just love the challenge. It is just that, I wish I have more time....

Birthday

This year birthday is indeed a pleasant one. It is rather unexpected for me as I wanted to just quietly celebrate with hubby. Instead, my birthday turned into a series of celebrations:

1- Dinner with Khor, Lisa, Yin and Hubby at Apartment on Friday night. Is my first visit to the Apartment at the Curve. The seat was not that comfortable. Ambience is so-so but I would say the food is really good. My birthday cake was a delicious chocolate cake bought by Lisa from Chocolate World. Yes, I love chocolates.

2 - Dinner with father, brother, Hui Yin and hubby at TGI Friday's on Sunday night. I still love to go Friday's despite being there few times. I only go to Friday's on birthdays.. whether is mine, hubby's or with friends.

It was the first time for father and brother and I wanted them to have a taste of good western food. We went to Friday's at One Utama. I was very disappointed with the service. I expected the service to be good as I have experience the same with Friday's at the Curve but this was different.

A young indian girl took our order, without greeting nor smile at us. I find it rude that she did not acknowledge that she have heard me. I was even more surprise that she did not even repeat my order to make sure that she has got it right. Later our food arrived. We were left waiting without utensils. I find it odd that they were so unprepared and unfriendly. My brother wanted to get the staffs to sing a birthday song for me but looking at the staffs forlorn face, I asked him to abort the idea. Despite all that, I am still glad that my family still enjoyed the food.

3. Monday morning was a pleasant surprise. My colleagues gave me a surprise gift - an extremely beautiful bouquet of roses and a delicious cake. I later treated them KFC and pizza for lunch.

4. Tuesday night - is my real day. After much celebration, I went for a quiet dinner with hubby at One Utama. We decided to settle for a simple Japanese dinner.

5. Thursday night - another dinner with my ex-colleagues, Pauline, Tok, Sharon & Ema. It is another pleasant surprise as I do not expect them to gather for my birthday. It was Pauline's thoughtfulness.

So.. here I am, eating all the way from Friday to Thursday.. Is time to exercise and go on diet!

Accident

Hours ago, I had an accident...

Where: coming out from Tropicana heading to Sprint highway somewhere the front of old Sony office
Who: 4 cars (including mine)
How: A van hit an Iswara where the Iswara hit onto a BMW and the BMW banged my poor honda city.
Why: All disobey the rule of leaving a one car gap in front of the other - except for me of course as, Thank God! I was far away from the car in front of me.

To share something funny though, minutes before I felt the bump behind my poor honda city, the car in front of me actually hit the other car in front. So while I was witnessing an accident in front of me, I was being hit from behind. So is a good thing that I was not too close to the car in front, otherwise, it would be a 6 vehicle accident with mine being the 3rd car.

My "banger" decided to settle out of court. I would say that I was lucky that I was "banged" by a rich guy who is also a pure gentlemen... from my 1st impression... I will be checking the extent of my damage and will be forwarding my claim to my "banger" - which I hope he will "gentlemanly" pay.

Looking at all this, it just looks as if this episode is meant to be.. well.. I specifically chooses to drive today after not driving for weeks, and I offered to fetch my bosses where usually I would be the one hopping into their car, and I chooses to make a stop over at another office before heading back to office.. . So if I did not choose to make the stop over, I would not appear at that point of time and if I had chosen to hop in my bosses's car, my car would be safe at home and if I had allowed my husband to drive me to work, I would not be having this accident.

So, my thoughts are.. maybe, it is a destiny for me to meet my "bangers" - afterall, they really are very nice and very gentlemen (all the 3 other drivers were male). So who is the terrible driver now?

How do you cope?

My ex-colleague's wife passed away yesterday. I believe she was only in her 30's. Cancer took her away. She left behind 2 young boys. It is difficult to imagine .. the sorrow of losing someone dear and close to you.

My friend made a remark - "husband and wife" are meant to be together. Being married, is fate that brings them together and to think that yet, there are so many couple out there going through divorces.

Few years ago, my close friend lost her husband in a car accident. He left behind 3 girls, the youngest was just months old. It is tragic to lose someone you love this way... and I do not think is easy to cope with such losses... My prayers goes out to these two friends of mine who lost someone dear to them..

Hyderabad as I see it

This is my 3rd visit to Hyderabad. This time around, the weather is hot, about 38 to 40 degrees. Yes, Hyderabad actually has 4 season and it is summer right now.

Walking on the streets of Hyderabad is very different than here in Malaysia. There are scores of people everywhere, literally packed with thousands of people walking on the street. The poor are very poor and when you sit in your car, being a foreigner, you would find poor children, ladies with their babies, old man and women knocking on your window screen begging for money. As you travel along the outskirts of Hyderabad, you will find rows of tents made of torn fabrics by the roadside. Yes, that is where the poor lived. Cows, chicken, goats can be seen loitering at the roadside. It is a common sight in Hyderabad.

Another sight that is common is the habit of the people peeing by the roadside. Within a 1km stretch, you will sight at least 10 people or more peeing everywhere and anywhere. Most of them are men but I was told that the woman does the same but I have yet to witness it.

Driving in Hyderabad is almost impossible. It is a norm for the drivers to honk ... infact is a must to honk if you want to reach your destination fast. You must be bold and be prepared to have your car scratched or knocked when you drive in Hyderabad. So forget about driving luxurious car. Not only do you have to watch out for the millions of motorist on the road, you will also have to watch out for the countless pedestrians among the crowd of cars, busses and lorries. Traffic light are very much useless but you will find that the police force controlling the traffic does command respect from the motorist.

I like the people in Hyderabad. Being a chinese girl, most of the time, I do get pleasant stares from the people. Makes me feel like a superstar! They would be very happy when you take their photo and would willingly smile and give their best post. However, it would be a disadvantage to visit street markets. There was this one time where I was being "mobbed" by the local traders trying to sell me their products. This was after I made a big purchase at one of the stores. So, shopping is almost impossible at the street markets...

Streets at Charminar - the place I was "mobbed"

One of the things to learn in Hyderabad is the terms of communication. Certain words are used differently there. Example, cars and motorbikes are called 4 wheelers and 2 wheelers. The taxi is actually a 3 wheeler vehicle. Bungalow is termed as independent house and the word square feet is just called SFT. I have still a lot to learn.

As for food, I have not mustered the courage to eat the food by the roadside coffee shops. Most of the time, I frequent good restaurants and cafes. However, if one were to work in Hyderabad, restaurants and cafes would be too much of a luxury. It is advisable to be careful with the water that you drink. So I either drink from a sealed bottle of water or fresh coconut water which is abundantly sold by the roadside. It is extremely cheap to drink coconut in Hyderabad and in the hot weather, it can be very refreshing.

Refreshing coconut

There is one restaurant in Hyderabad which serves Malaysian food. The staffs, chefs are from Malaysia and it is a ritual that I visit this restaurant, Awana, before I take my flight home to Malaysia. The food is simply delicious and is a good place to be when you misses home. It has a touch of old good feeling you get when tasting your mummy's food.

Delicious local Malaysian food served at Awana Hyderabad

Being here in Malaysia, a place so different than Hyderabad, I would say that I am very fortunate to be living in Malaysia. I would say that anyone who has been there would find our homeland to be the best place to stay...

Hubby's Birthday

Hubby's birthday was celebrated earlier this year as I had to be away to India on his real day.

So. on Saturday night, we went to the Curve for a sumptous dinner at Itallianies with Khor, Lisa, brother and Hui Yin. It is packed as usual at most of the restaurants at the Curve and we have to wait for 15 minutes to get a place. It is the first time for us at Itallianies. The ambience is just right for the occasion, lively and yet cosy. Staffs were pleasant, friendly and helpful. We ordered few different servings. I find the chicken lasagna to be good.

The staffs sang a birthday song for hubby of which hubby was then asked to say a thank you speech to all of us. I would say that hubby is always a good sport in these kind of gesture. A delicious chocolate cake and the company of good people makes the night a pleasant one.

The year of progress

Ahh.. time flies yet again and again. Each year passing and what have I achieved? I would say that 2007 has been a good year for me. A year full of changes and a good recovery from 2006. I know that I am always blessed and somehow deep inside me, I know that the almighty above is somewhat watching and taking care of me. I am all thankful for that.

2008 is going to be a year of progress for me. That is the thoughts I have instilled in me. A progress in my career and in my family circle i pray... So if all comes in together, it will definately be a whole lot of new experience again. So what do I ask for in the new year of 2008 - the strength and courage to do and carry out duties that have naturally been bestowed to me!

I just got back

I just got back from a 10 days trip from Macau, HongKong and Shenzhen. Went there from 26/12/07 to 04/01/08. Came back with a sore leg and amazingly a lot of photos. I hope to write about it and show some pics.. now all I need is to find time to do it..

Dilemma

What you do if you are in this situation? You have been with a girl for more than 10 years. You have trust and sense of responsibility towards her. But somehow, you lost that magic. It is not as magical as before. Passion is somehow lost. But the love you have for her is unconditional.

Then came along a girl in your life. She is all you wanted. The magic and the passion. The compability is just perfect. But she is someone new and you are not sure if it will last. Trust is yet to be established. Security is uncertain.

In this case, who would you choose? Well, that is the dilemma one of my friends are into. So what would you do if is you?

Keeping diaries

I started keeping diaries ever since I was 19. Back then, blogs were never heard of and there is hardly the luxury of owning a computer. Every thoughts, feelings were penned down in words, in a book or a dairy. Now, with blogs and the accessibility of computers, all thoughts are posted and viewed by the public. Back then, our diaries were very much a secret.

How things change! I am in my thirties and here I am feeling the significant changes in today and yesteryears. I find writing in blogs to be fast and easy. Thoughts flow easily and mistakes are wiped off easily. We can change our mind about what to write and what not to write. However, this makes writing to be not so true and we are afraid that it may be read by the wrong person. Few times when I have the urge to write, I find that I do not have the luxury of a computer. Hence, I understand why sometimes the old conventional way of writing diary is still the best.

They bitched and they talked

Sigh.. this is happening everywhere. Office politics. A group of girls come together and talk about everything that is not related to them. They talked about why, what, how, should have, would have and what not... and all these are not about them but about the people they supposedly called friends.

The irony is, there is so much to do at work, so many datelines to meet and yet other people businesses seems to be their priority. These are not young girls, some are mothers and wife and approaching 30's and yet they behave like a immature girl. Sad to say, this is happening everywhere.

How should one face it? Ignore them? Confront them? To hell with them?

All I can say is - "Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you". For every action there is a reaction and a repercussion. :)

Missing Misha

Misha went missing two days ago. Attempts to locate her failed. Is odd. One would have thought that losing a dog means nothing, after all, it is just a dog. It is not even my dog. But I have grown fond of Misha the past 5 months that I have been staying here. Misha hardly barks but she would wag her tail vigorously when seeing familiar faces. Few times when my landlord is out and Misha is left alone, she would come "knocking" on my door. She would quietly sit next to me while I was busy working on my computer.

Now that Misha is gone, I can't help feeling sad. Hubby and me went round the neighbourhood hoping to find her. She is no where to be found. I pray that she can find her way back home or whoever is keeping her, would take good care of her. Is the first dog I ever loved!

My heart goes out to her

I am grieving. Grieving to have read the news about Nurin. How could someone do this to such a sweet young girl? I do not know her but I feel the pain and the loss of her parents. Most of all, I felt the pain knowing that she has suffered before dying. My rage goes out to the beast who have done this. My fear goes out to all the children. Is no longer safe out there. Who are we to blame? The parents for allowing her to walk out alone? The police for the lack of security? The beast with a demon within?

I prayed for the safety of all the children, my niece, my nephews. I prayed that Nurin finds her peace and I prayed that the parents finds their consolation.

Been a long time

Been so busy and just can't find time to write. Shoulder aching, a sign of using too much computer.. for work of course, not so much as surfing..

Come to think of it, computer is such a common thing.. or rather, it is more than a common thing, it has become a thing of great attachment. The first thing I do when I reached my office desk is to switch on my computer, click my email messages, go to star online to check out the news and then start my work.

When I reached back home, I will do the same, switched on my computer, checked mails, surf a bit, watch video, switch on my messenger and chat with my niece and with my friends.

So recently, I shifted to my "weekdays home" where I do not have internet access during weekdays. It was odd at first, something missing, not having a computer. But then, it is really a good thing. I find myself sleeping earlier and getting more rest. Then I realised how health hazard computer can be, other than blurring your vision.

So, I gathered that I can sort of live without computer but.. not sure if I can live without my handphone.... :)

A message

Mic's mom passed away on the 1st day of chinese new year. It was shocked to me. Even though I fondly call her as Aunty, she was like a mom to me. She regarded me as her god daughter whom she proudly introduces to her relatives.

Just two days before she died, hubby mentioned to visit her during the chinese new year. I guess it was too late. I was told that she died at the point where all of her children and grandchildren was with her. Somehow, it is as though she chooses the moment to leave.

Something odd happen recently, well, at least I never thought it was odd until I relate it to Mic. It is exactly the seventh day after. I had a dream that night. I dream of Aunty sitting looking at a bowl of Hokkien mee. Next to her was Mic's father eating hokkien mee. The place was like a eatery place, packed with people. I did not find it odd at first as I tend to dream very easily.

The dream kept locked in my mind. The vision so clear. I finally sms Mic to enquire if her mom likes Hokkien mee. Mic called me immediately as she found my question odd. I related my dream to Mic and it was then that Mic said that they did served Hokkien mee to Aunty on the 1st day of the funeral. Infact, the whole family also ate Hokkien mee on that day. Emm.... I am speechless...

Is so fast

I am in Cheras, sitting in Old Town Kopitiam. Lots of people here, from young to old. I guess is the lifestyle now, sitting at a cafe, hanging out with friends and a few of them are like me, with their laptops either surfing or typing.

It is interesting when I looked back on how things were like before. I remember in my teens, when I met this boyfriend of mine from Johor, we had to correspond through snail mail. At that time then, pen pal was an in-thing. Now.. everything is so fast and easy. With just a click, you can chat with anyone anywhere in the world. And now you can even see each other face to face through computers. How things have moved and advanced. I wonder how things will be like 5 years, 10 years, 15 years from now...

So here I am sitting at a cafe, typing my thoughts in my laptop when years ago, I would have to write it down in my diaries or in a piece of paper. Now my thoughts can be posted to the world to read when years ago, it would just have been a private thoughts tucked in my secret compartment.

With the changes, when everything moves so fast... we have to be fast too...